Day 10: Planning to fail.
Tuesday, 24 October 2023
This is another story about me dealing with the remaining debris of my old habit of over planning things. While planning alone has already put such a heavy pressure, to push myself to do the plan is feels even heavier. I need constantly remind myself about that plan for that sense of accountability.
Problem is, I have a tendency to overestimate my ability to execute all of the plans I created. I suddenly forgot the feasibility test and the possibility of alteration or iteration along the way. As usual, nothing in those plans came into reality.
Thinking about this made me come up with a realization that planning without feasibility test a.k.a reality check will just set myself up to fail. The impact does not stop there. When I forget that it is totally okay to alter and iterate my plans along the way, pushing myself too hard is only creating stronger resistance to escape.
Because how on earth those plans I made perfectly can come into life when I only do the planning perfection without taking the smallest step that I can do today, let alone to be consistent about it? I then fall into a vicious cycle of enjoying the resistance too much, only to find myself trying my best to escape. The ways I escape is familiar, some things and activities that make me stuck. Now we talk about that popular topic of self-sabotaging. I bet all of you are already familiar with the concept.
Don't give up on your dreams, dream big. they said. I don't know where this came from, but I think we kind of forget the continuation of the passage, which should be read, "... and don't you dare to give give up on doing real things so you can make it into life. It should be available in 3D, baby."
To avoid the vicious cycle that I enjoy too much for too long, here are some journaling prompts for you today: "Do I have plans? Are they more of short or long term plans? How do I feel about the plans? Does it feel too much or rather feasible to achieve? Have I taken any small steps I can do today to make it happen?"
With this type of reflection and consciousness, may our plans come into life.