A Gentle Reminder: Be Happy on Your Own


Sometimes I feel left behind. Sometimes I feel lonely. No no, I lie. Many times. You can think how miserable it is, how vulnerable it feels to become someone like me. But is it going to be forever? Not really sure.

.......until I see this article on The New York Times. Please read the article before you go on with some more words here.

I feel sad reading the article, as it relates to me when I see it in some other aspects. The pressure to be looking happy in front of people on the social media. The pressure to be looking like your life is all perfect and put together. The pressure to be looking like you have never any big problem in your life. I feel it, both in real and virtual life. Seriously, should I?

The idea of perfection is the worst nightmare that sickens me the whole time of my life. Society and my brain work hand in hand to create that idea. A boomerang for me. I compare, I look up to others who showed their life in front of me and try to reach the same thing. My mind is filled with a severe jealousy. I wanna be like them. I wanna be happy like them, to be precise. 

But why? 

Lately I got how pointless it is to compare. How time-wasting it is to be jealous. How life-consuming it is to feel left behind. I regret, big time. This is not a right virtue. This is toxic, disease. Can you imagine living with this kind of toxic for a long time without trying to cure? You will die. 

Now, let me tell you how to cure: take a rest and let go of things. Yes, ALL of things. Start a minimalist way of life. Tell yourself that happiness is not having what others have, but having what you need. What you need to stay alive in this world. What you need to have yourself feel safe. Once you have the basic needs, you're done. Live your life. I turn my way of thinking as well. 

Frankly speaking, I was thinking that I have to have a car to be appreciated by people when I was at the age of 18. But now, I realized I was wrong. The way people appreciate and respect you is not about the things, but how you behave, so now I try to change the way I behave. I respect and appreciate people first, and I get the respect in return from people. The cliche but true concept of take and give. I regret my shallow thought, but thankfully I get my sanity back and will never forget it to be one of my learning points. But I forgive. 

Never ever give yourself any pressure to be happy in front of others, for the sake of looking as happy as how they look. When you're sad, cry. Don't lie to yourself, don't lie. Once again, never compare. Never.

After all of the words written, please repeat after me: I promise I will try hard to not comparing myself with others, and work my own thing to reach my destination (whatever it is). 

Remember one's destiny is never the same with others? Work as hard as you can, and the time will come for you. Stay fab, gorgeous.

Xx, Justian Edwin




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